Real Life Reflections

Weakness. It's despicable. At least that's what I think of my own. I'm fine with yours, but mine? Hate it. Fight it. Deny it. Ignore it. Pretend it doesn't exist. I'm mildly sensory defensive and strongly introverted , which basically means that I am easily overwhelmed by external stimuli ( not shy as introversion is often wrongly defined). I internalize my surroundings, and I think a lot. For years, I have seen this as a weakness because it limits me. Don't get me wrong, I don't see it as a flaw. It's my strength and my weakness. As a strength, I am able to process, plan, analyze, imagine, and think things through to their end. As a weakness, I am unable to handle craziness. I can't have a zillion conversations all week long with people at work, then volunteer and attend meetings on weeknights, host dinner guests on weekends, go out with the girls, celebrate weddings, birthdays, and graduations, and show up at family reunions, etc. etc. without ...

I grew up as one of six children - or eight if you count our dogs. My dad was crazy about us - his six human children. He wasn't such a big fan of the dogs. One fine day, he was done with them. He sent them packing. I vowed that day to be a dog owner when I grew up. I'm here today to say that I have been true to that vow, though I must admit it has been trying at times. I don't always want to pet her when she's in the mood. That doesn't seem to matter though. She just keeps nosing my hand over her head again and again and again. There are times when I'd like to take a walk alone, but that's not going to happen until I'm strong enough to tune out the crying that I hear through the door as I walk out it and up the street. I am not particularly interested in stopping to smell each blade of grass where a canine who made the same trek we are making earlier in the day (or week or month or year) has tinkled once we are merrily prancing down the road. The list g...

I woke up weary this morning. Not tired. Weary, emotionally weary. Strong emotions - both my own and those of others in my proximity - exhaust me, and the past two years have been full of them. I think it's catching up with me. My soul felt like an anvil as I pulled myself out of bed. I made my coffee, took my vitamins, and sat down to pray. I began by telling God about my weariness. It was accompanied by all the whining that goes along with that type of prayer. Then I opened my Bible. I read Psalm 35. Contend, O Lord , with those who contend with me; Fight against those who fight against me. 2  Take hold of [ a ] buckler and shield And rise up for my help. 3  Draw also the spear and [ b ] the battle-axe to meet those who pursue me; Say to my soul, “I am your salvation." ( NASB via Biblegateway.com) I began to pray these verses, and as I did, my weariness became faith-instilled. The anvil broke lose. I recalled Jacob's fight with the angel that lasted all through the n...

I recently joined a writing challenge through Kristi Holl's Writers' First Aid (kristiholl.com). The challenge? To write first thing every morning for the thirty days of April. To do this, to do anything you value and want to make a priority in your life, requires boundaries. I've blogged about boundaries before, but it's been a while, so I thought I would share Kristi's thoughts as a refresher. She focuses on writers, but her words are true for everyone. This is her first post in a series: Why Writers Need Boundaries

My husband and I recently watched The Help - a story about a group of African American women who worked as maids in Jackson, Mississippi in the '60s. One of the protagonists works for a woman "who got no b'ness havin' babies." This woman, this family maid and nanny, tells her little two year old ward regularly, "You is pretty. You is smart. You is impor'ant." How difficult it is for us to believe that about ourselves - really, to believe anything good about ourselves. I always try to be my raw self when I write a blog post. Today is no exception. So I confess that I've been drowning in a storm of lies lately. My head knows they're lies, and I could easily tell anyone else in the same place that they're lies, but I haven't been able to get a grip. There have been so many of them coming at me at once. It seems that I just break the surface, gulp some fresh air of truth then get pulled back under. One thing I know: the enemy of our ...

My life gets a little crazy sometimes. I'm probably the only person in the whole world, right? The biggest problem I have when my life gets like that is me - my attitude. I live with the American belief that my life should be everything I want it to be. I should have everything I want to have; do everything I want to do. Have oodles of free time to travel and visit friends, work on hobbies, exercise, cook fabulous healthy meals. I should be able to do it all and have it all. The other night I had a dream - one that my husband had to awaken me from because I was yelling. In this dream, I was going through our house closing all the curtains and blinds. The kitchen was the last window to the outside world, but when I tried to raise my arm to drop the blinds, I couldn't. Something, some unseen force was holding my arm down. I struggled for a short time before I realized that the unseen force was an evil force, a demonic presence. It made me angry. I began yelling at it. Later t...

Imagine your life without imagination - yours or anyone else's. Boring, right? No movies, no novels, no music, no new hairstyles, no entrepreneurs, no new technology. You would never laugh at Jim and Dwight (but then again, maybe you don't do that now). Your t-shirts would all be plain white. Clothing styles would never change. Goodbye FaceBook, the internet, and iphones. Breakfast would be eggs. Lunch would be a sandwich. Dinner would be the same old thing. The walls in your home would all be white and your decor? Non-existent. For as long as I can remember I've been in awe of God's imagination. Have you ever stopped to consider how vastly different every person in the world is from everyone else - even though we all have the same basic parts? We're just the tip of the iceberg though. Meander around the Discovery channel some time and check out ocean life - SO spectacular! Clouds change from minute to minute. Sunsets and sunrises are never quite like the ones of...