"Make new friends but keep the old.
One is silver and the other gold. "
At the beginning of a new year, most people look forward and make resolutions to better them self in some way over the next twelve months. This new year, however, I looked back and was overwhelmed by what I found.
Friendships - real friendships - are not easy things to build. Real friendships require trust, and it takes time for us mortals to be able to do that with each other. Although few of us will to admit it to ourselves much less anyone else, our hearts are vulnerable. We station sentries at the door and train them well. They keep any potential pain away. The problem lies in that they are zealous guards and often refuse entrance to everyone - including friends. Oh, they'll let people in to a certain extent - like maybe onto the porch or possibly into the living room, but for a friend to make it to the back of the house (the kitchen, the bathroom) where the real stuff of life goes on is no mean feat.
And so it is that real friendships take a lot of time to cultivate. Our sentries have to be convinced that it's okay to let a friend-candidate past the living room where everything is in order - cleaned and polished for public appeal. We spend time with someone: grab a cup of coffee together, go see a movie, shop, hike, and talk. We test the waters. Watch how they respond to different situations. Listen to their stories and opinions and determine if they're safe or not.
Time goes on, our lives change. We (or they) may move out of town, out of state, or even out of the country, but those changes don't have to signify an end to friendship. They can be the catalyst for an even deeper relationship.
We recently attended the wedding of the daughter of one of our "golden" friends. Thirty/thirty-five years ago we saw each other virtually everyday. We were in high school together. Then collage. Marriages took place. Children were born. People moved away. Our children and our lives consumed us. Sometimes a few years would go by without a word, but the relationships weren't over. They were simply dormant. Now we're all, one by one, becoming empty-nesters (and grandparents!). A few of us still live in other cities, states, or countries but that doesn't really matter. These are friendships made of gold. They've weathered the storms and the distance of both time and space. These are friendships made in heaven. These are people I love dearly but I never realized how dearly until I began to reflect on the years behind me and how rich and full they have been - not easy, not easy at all - but rich and filled with true friends.
Yes, I have new friends who I love, but my golden friends are a treasure beyond compare.
Make new friends but keep the old.
One is silver and the other gold.
One is silver and the other gold. "
At the beginning of a new year, most people look forward and make resolutions to better them self in some way over the next twelve months. This new year, however, I looked back and was overwhelmed by what I found.
Friendships - real friendships - are not easy things to build. Real friendships require trust, and it takes time for us mortals to be able to do that with each other. Although few of us will to admit it to ourselves much less anyone else, our hearts are vulnerable. We station sentries at the door and train them well. They keep any potential pain away. The problem lies in that they are zealous guards and often refuse entrance to everyone - including friends. Oh, they'll let people in to a certain extent - like maybe onto the porch or possibly into the living room, but for a friend to make it to the back of the house (the kitchen, the bathroom) where the real stuff of life goes on is no mean feat.
And so it is that real friendships take a lot of time to cultivate. Our sentries have to be convinced that it's okay to let a friend-candidate past the living room where everything is in order - cleaned and polished for public appeal. We spend time with someone: grab a cup of coffee together, go see a movie, shop, hike, and talk. We test the waters. Watch how they respond to different situations. Listen to their stories and opinions and determine if they're safe or not.
Time goes on, our lives change. We (or they) may move out of town, out of state, or even out of the country, but those changes don't have to signify an end to friendship. They can be the catalyst for an even deeper relationship.
We recently attended the wedding of the daughter of one of our "golden" friends. Thirty/thirty-five years ago we saw each other virtually everyday. We were in high school together. Then collage. Marriages took place. Children were born. People moved away. Our children and our lives consumed us. Sometimes a few years would go by without a word, but the relationships weren't over. They were simply dormant. Now we're all, one by one, becoming empty-nesters (and grandparents!). A few of us still live in other cities, states, or countries but that doesn't really matter. These are friendships made of gold. They've weathered the storms and the distance of both time and space. These are friendships made in heaven. These are people I love dearly but I never realized how dearly until I began to reflect on the years behind me and how rich and full they have been - not easy, not easy at all - but rich and filled with true friends.
Yes, I have new friends who I love, but my golden friends are a treasure beyond compare.
Make new friends but keep the old.
One is silver and the other gold.
Yes, "back-door" friends are precious! They don't see the dirt...only the heart.
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