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The Lie of "Love"

"No girl ever goes out with me more than two months. They all break up with me right about then. You'll get tired of me too. It'll be right around prom time. You'll see." Garrett leaned against the hood of his car in the school parking lot talking to Lyndsi. They had officially been a couple for all of a week.

Over the next two months, they saw each other every day of the week - if not in the evening after school and work, then in the halls between classes. Those first two months were bliss. Lyndsi hadn't had a serious boyfriend since the seventh grade and that was four years ago - a span of time just this side of eternity. Garrett was fun. He made Lyndsi laugh. He lavished her with attention - always wanted to be with her, sought her out in crowds. She was drunk on his affection. At home, her father was dying from cancer, and the attention was soothing salve.

In early May, Lyndsi's father died as did the novelty of her relationship with Garrett. Lyndsi began to see things in Garrett - things she'd somehow overlooked before. He was self-centered, miserly, and often unkind. In truth, she was ready to end the relationship, but she recalled his words, "No girl ever goes out with me more than two months," and she wanted to prove him wrong. She wanted to do for him what only God can do - give him a sense of worth. That was a huge mistake.

After the dinner and the dancing at Garrett's prom, they went out with some of Garrett's friends. The guys had gotten a hotel room. That night began a year that could easily never have been and would have saved Lyndsi years and years of pain. It was a year of daily arguments that always ended in abuse - sexual and verbal. Still Lydnsi stayed with Garrett. She had passed some emotional point of no return. She was his. She loved him, and she believed that he loved her.

"Will you go to Coral Courts with me?" (Coral Courts was the cheesey rent-by-the-hour motel up the street.)
At least he asked instead of just groping and grabbing like usual. Lyndsi thought, but she answered, "No. You know I won't."
"Then I think we need to break up." His words slapped her in the face and stung like a hive of bees on her heart. He didn't love her, he just wanted someone who willingly put out.

Lyndsi's story goes on to a happy ending, but for so very many that doesn't happen. In a desperate attempt to keep the relationship, the girl caves. She acts against her own inner convictions and begins to live out what she doesn't believe. Lyndsi learned what true love is. She experienced it first hand - a "happily ever after" love, a love not based on how you make someone feel or what you do for them but love - pure and simple.

My heart aches for all the Lyndsi's in our world, and I venture a guess that there are many, many more Lyndsi's than not. We learn early in life the lie that our worth is found in a romantic relationship, and so we sacrifice who we are and who we're meant to be so we can be swallowed up in someone else, so we can belong to someone and prove to ourself that we're lovable while inside, the pain of this farce sears our soul and changes our life forever.

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