I think the holidays are the ultimate test of familial love (though weddings may very well be a strong contender for that title). Expectations run high: the food, the festivities, the gifts, the time together - it's all part of the magic of the season. The problem is that the magic falls flat when reality crushes our expectations. Not that I've ever experienced that of course. I'm just sayin' it's a possibility.
One of the biggest issues for couples, though, is how much time to spend where and with whom. If you're like me, you have very little family in-town, so every celebration of the season involves out-of-town travel either personally or by other family members. This often involves an over-nighter if not multiple nights, and this is where the rubber meets the road. You either raised the now-adult people with whom you will be temporarily cohabiting, you or your spouse grew up with them or they are the spouse or off-spring of one of the above. Generally speaking, you love them, which means they wield the power to cause you pain and you, them.
When you were young and you didn't like something your sibling said or did, you simply yelled at them. No big deal. When your children were young and it was your job to train them in responsibility and kindness, etc, you put them in time out, spanked them, grounded them, or talked to them depending upon their age and personality. Now, however, none of that applies. There are new rules to abide by and no one has written a fail-safe guide book . . . except maybe they have. Maybe our immediate and extended family members are included in the whole "love thy neighbor" bit. Maybe even when our expectations aren't met, when we're disappointed, even painfully hurt, maybe even then (or maybe especially then) we're called to love just as Christ loves us . . . just as He loved those who made fun of Him, didn't agree with Him, even hated Him.
I don't think it's an easy task, and it's definitely not one any of us can do on our own. I think that's the beginning . . . I hope this is the beginning - realizing, not just in my head but in my heart, that I don't know how to love, that I can't love, but Jesus in me does and can.
One of the biggest issues for couples, though, is how much time to spend where and with whom. If you're like me, you have very little family in-town, so every celebration of the season involves out-of-town travel either personally or by other family members. This often involves an over-nighter if not multiple nights, and this is where the rubber meets the road. You either raised the now-adult people with whom you will be temporarily cohabiting, you or your spouse grew up with them or they are the spouse or off-spring of one of the above. Generally speaking, you love them, which means they wield the power to cause you pain and you, them.
When you were young and you didn't like something your sibling said or did, you simply yelled at them. No big deal. When your children were young and it was your job to train them in responsibility and kindness, etc, you put them in time out, spanked them, grounded them, or talked to them depending upon their age and personality. Now, however, none of that applies. There are new rules to abide by and no one has written a fail-safe guide book . . . except maybe they have. Maybe our immediate and extended family members are included in the whole "love thy neighbor" bit. Maybe even when our expectations aren't met, when we're disappointed, even painfully hurt, maybe even then (or maybe especially then) we're called to love just as Christ loves us . . . just as He loved those who made fun of Him, didn't agree with Him, even hated Him.
I don't think it's an easy task, and it's definitely not one any of us can do on our own. I think that's the beginning . . . I hope this is the beginning - realizing, not just in my head but in my heart, that I don't know how to love, that I can't love, but Jesus in me does and can.
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