A two year old can hold approximately one gallon of pee before relaxing to such an extent that pee gushes forth, cannot be contained in any one diaper, and covers approximately half the bathroom floor after soaking two-year old's clothing - sufficient cause for whining to begin.
The most likely time for the aforementioned two-year old to release gallon of pee is when Grammy is rinsing one extremely odoriferous poopy cloth diaper of one-year old brother (over which Grammy has just fought the battle of Gettysburg and is awaiting a medal of honor for winning said battle)
While two-year old whining continues (understandably, who wants to stand in a swimming pool of one's own pee in clothing soaked in pee?), Grammy attempts to soothe two-year old and remove wet clothing (having now set aside odoriferous diaper and turned on bath fan), one-year old brother (now clean and happy) crawls into bathroom to enjoy a few splashes in the pond until vanity doors attract his attention and he opens and begins to explore contents.
Not one to be left out, dog wades into the lake and begins to lap up this new delicious water.
Grammy is now yelling, shoving dog out of the room (mindless of the pee it will track over the wood floors), picking up baby brother, soaking up an ocean with a couple of rags, drying little hands, all while speaking gentle words of comfort to two-year old now in tears.
Pop Pop to the rescue to take baby bro (bless you, Pop Pop, bless you!)
With dog and brother out of the bathroom, Grammy dries the floor, picks up the now naked two-year to complete pee-cleansing and re-dress in clean, dry clothing, but just for good measure, decides to stand up too close to corner of vanity and gets it in the back. The pain is similar to that of hitting one's thumb with a hammer, but she somehow manages to NOT drop crying two-year old and eventually remembers to breathe.
. . . and I used to live like this every day?
To all you mommas of little ones - YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! It may not feel like it, but with every little kiss, every teachable moment, every patient response, every dirty diaper, every tear wiped away, every boo-boo lovingly tended (real or imagined), you're building the adult that your sweet little wild man or lady will someday be. Your job is the most important job in the world. Don't ever think it's not. You are truly God's hands and feet and heart to the ones He has entrusted to you.
The most likely time for the aforementioned two-year old to release gallon of pee is when Grammy is rinsing one extremely odoriferous poopy cloth diaper of one-year old brother (over which Grammy has just fought the battle of Gettysburg and is awaiting a medal of honor for winning said battle)
While two-year old whining continues (understandably, who wants to stand in a swimming pool of one's own pee in clothing soaked in pee?), Grammy attempts to soothe two-year old and remove wet clothing (having now set aside odoriferous diaper and turned on bath fan), one-year old brother (now clean and happy) crawls into bathroom to enjoy a few splashes in the pond until vanity doors attract his attention and he opens and begins to explore contents.
Not one to be left out, dog wades into the lake and begins to lap up this new delicious water.
Grammy is now yelling, shoving dog out of the room (mindless of the pee it will track over the wood floors), picking up baby brother, soaking up an ocean with a couple of rags, drying little hands, all while speaking gentle words of comfort to two-year old now in tears.
Pop Pop to the rescue to take baby bro (bless you, Pop Pop, bless you!)
With dog and brother out of the bathroom, Grammy dries the floor, picks up the now naked two-year to complete pee-cleansing and re-dress in clean, dry clothing, but just for good measure, decides to stand up too close to corner of vanity and gets it in the back. The pain is similar to that of hitting one's thumb with a hammer, but she somehow manages to NOT drop crying two-year old and eventually remembers to breathe.
. . . and I used to live like this every day?
To all you mommas of little ones - YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! It may not feel like it, but with every little kiss, every teachable moment, every patient response, every dirty diaper, every tear wiped away, every boo-boo lovingly tended (real or imagined), you're building the adult that your sweet little wild man or lady will someday be. Your job is the most important job in the world. Don't ever think it's not. You are truly God's hands and feet and heart to the ones He has entrusted to you.
See why the three stooges is still fun to watch???? *<:
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