When You Know the Answer Before You Ask the Question

Have you ever taken your cues from Gideon and come up short? Gideon was a little freaked out when God told him to lead the Israelites into battle. He didn't exactly relish the idea of going into battle without being absolutely positive that God was with him. So He gave God a couple of tests. Day one: he lay a wool fleece on his threshing floor and told God that if He really wanted him to do this thing then have the dew fall on the fleece alone. In the morning, he had to wring out the fleece because it was sodden with dew, but the ground around it was dry. Day two: he told God that if He really wanted him to do this then do the opposite the next morning - let the fleece alone be dry but the ground around it wet. It happened just as Gideon requested. God was pretty obvious in what He wanted Gideon to do.

My turn: I have an idea for a project. It promises to be fairly time-consuming and likely emotionally taxing. Like Gideon, I don't relish the idea of doing this if God isn't with me. So I want to know: is it my idea or is it God's? I want to hear from God on this. I had just read about Gideon, so I decided to set a "fleece" before God. What happened? Nada. Zilcho. Silencio.

According to Gideon's story, that means I should drop the subject and move on. The thing is, I can't stop thinking about it - I've been mulling it over for months. I can't turn it off at a moment's notice, although I wish I could. I told my husband last night that I had wanted God to make it super-duper obvious. His profound answer? "and how often does He do that?"

Oh. Good point.

As I continued to make dinner and go about my evening routine, I continued to ruminate. I'd thought that it was God who gave me the whole fleece idea thing. I think this project I'm considering is God's idea. So why wouldn't He answer my "fleece?" It wasn't until I lie snuggled into bed last night that it hit me . . . and this is as equally profound as my husband's statement . . . Are you ready for this? Here's the lightening bolt moment: sometimes I'm wrong. Sometimes I just miss it. God didn't mess up here. I did. I tried to manipulate Him, and He just doesn't work like that.

The thing is that I'm afraid of embarking on this project because it's outside my comfort zone. I'd like to drop the subject from my daily thought menu, but it's always there. I'm beginning to think that perhaps God is making it obvious, just not the way I wanted Him to do it. Sometimes when we know someone well, they don't answer our questions directly - like when I ask my husband of nearly twenty-nine years if he'd rather have nachos or steak for dinner and he just looks at me with that "what do you think?" expression because really, I knew His answer before I even asked the question.

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