Weakness. It's despicable. At least that's what I think of my own. I'm fine with yours, but mine? Hate it. Fight it. Deny it. Ignore it. Pretend it doesn't exist.
I'm mildly sensory defensive and strongly introverted, which basically means that I am easily overwhelmed by external stimuli (not shy as introversion is often wrongly defined). I internalize my surroundings, and I think a lot. For years, I have seen this as a weakness because it limits me. Don't get me wrong, I don't see it as a flaw. It's my strength and my weakness. As a strength, I am able to process, plan, analyze, imagine, and think things through to their end. As a weakness, I am unable to handle craziness. I can't have a zillion conversations all week long with people at work, then volunteer and attend meetings on weeknights, host dinner guests on weekends, go out with the girls, celebrate weddings, birthdays, and graduations, and show up at family reunions, etc. etc. without paying a hefty price in the form of my sanity. But these things are all part of life, right? And with a husband who is both an extrovert and a pastor, we get invitations to weddings and graduations of people I barely know.
This past spring, the invitations came via an 18-wheeler. Well, almost anyway. It has tipped my sanity almost to the breaking point (seriously). You're probably thinking, "duh, Lori, just don't go to everything." Simple solution. Not so simple to live out. Be honest, there are events that you attend because you care about the person, but you'd really rather be home sipping a glass of wine and reading a good book. I attend many events because I care about my husband who cares about the person for whom the event is.
I tried to scale back, but as I went down our list of invitations, the only ones I could scratch off were the ones that I really wanted to attend, such as a day with my sisters or book club or dinner out with friends. So, I didn't scratch any of them off, and I'm not done yet. Next week is youth camp. Two weeks after that we head north to visit our daughter and her family. Then within the six weeks from mid-August through September, I have four full-weekend commitments. It's all good stuff but a lot of stuff for this sensory defensive introvert.
This past week I was chatting with a dear friend via email, lamenting this schedule as she was her own. I ended my email with the words, "I'm praying for grace to make it through." I hit "send" and immediately opened an email from another friend who knew nothing of my current struggle. The email was a forwarded devotional from The Proverbs 31 Woman. It began,
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
I had to laugh. Some times God is so obvious.
But do I believe it? That His grace is sufficient? I've read this verse before. I've quoted it to myself countless times as a mantra as if His sufficient grace were something I summoned up from deep within myself rather than His free gift to me.
Paul says he will boast gladly about his weakness so that Christ's power may rest on him.
What???? Boast about your weakness? I'd never understood that one, but now I'm thinking, is it possible that God made me who I am, put me in life I'm in, surrounded by these responsibilities, family, friends, and co-workers on purpose? Could it be that He knew my limitations before I was formed in my mother's womb (see Psalm 139), so that He could display His power through me? So that I could experience His grace in my weakness? The possibility of this truth actually makes me excited!
So then my weakness means that I get to experience His grace, and when He puts me in situations that require more of me than I have to give; when I stop despising my weakness and let His power rest on me; when I accept my limitations and receive His grace and His power, I glorify Him.
No wonder Paul gladly boasted in his weakness!
I'm mildly sensory defensive and strongly introverted, which basically means that I am easily overwhelmed by external stimuli (not shy as introversion is often wrongly defined). I internalize my surroundings, and I think a lot. For years, I have seen this as a weakness because it limits me. Don't get me wrong, I don't see it as a flaw. It's my strength and my weakness. As a strength, I am able to process, plan, analyze, imagine, and think things through to their end. As a weakness, I am unable to handle craziness. I can't have a zillion conversations all week long with people at work, then volunteer and attend meetings on weeknights, host dinner guests on weekends, go out with the girls, celebrate weddings, birthdays, and graduations, and show up at family reunions, etc. etc. without paying a hefty price in the form of my sanity. But these things are all part of life, right? And with a husband who is both an extrovert and a pastor, we get invitations to weddings and graduations of people I barely know.
This past spring, the invitations came via an 18-wheeler. Well, almost anyway. It has tipped my sanity almost to the breaking point (seriously). You're probably thinking, "duh, Lori, just don't go to everything." Simple solution. Not so simple to live out. Be honest, there are events that you attend because you care about the person, but you'd really rather be home sipping a glass of wine and reading a good book. I attend many events because I care about my husband who cares about the person for whom the event is.
I tried to scale back, but as I went down our list of invitations, the only ones I could scratch off were the ones that I really wanted to attend, such as a day with my sisters or book club or dinner out with friends. So, I didn't scratch any of them off, and I'm not done yet. Next week is youth camp. Two weeks after that we head north to visit our daughter and her family. Then within the six weeks from mid-August through September, I have four full-weekend commitments. It's all good stuff but a lot of stuff for this sensory defensive introvert.
This past week I was chatting with a dear friend via email, lamenting this schedule as she was her own. I ended my email with the words, "I'm praying for grace to make it through." I hit "send" and immediately opened an email from another friend who knew nothing of my current struggle. The email was a forwarded devotional from The Proverbs 31 Woman. It began,
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
I had to laugh. Some times God is so obvious.
But do I believe it? That His grace is sufficient? I've read this verse before. I've quoted it to myself countless times as a mantra as if His sufficient grace were something I summoned up from deep within myself rather than His free gift to me.
Paul says he will boast gladly about his weakness so that Christ's power may rest on him.
What???? Boast about your weakness? I'd never understood that one, but now I'm thinking, is it possible that God made me who I am, put me in life I'm in, surrounded by these responsibilities, family, friends, and co-workers on purpose? Could it be that He knew my limitations before I was formed in my mother's womb (see Psalm 139), so that He could display His power through me? So that I could experience His grace in my weakness? The possibility of this truth actually makes me excited!
So then my weakness means that I get to experience His grace, and when He puts me in situations that require more of me than I have to give; when I stop despising my weakness and let His power rest on me; when I accept my limitations and receive His grace and His power, I glorify Him.
No wonder Paul gladly boasted in his weakness!
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