Last week, I introduced my plan to work through the exercises in a little book called The Highly Sensitive Person's Companion by Ted Zeff (if you missed it, you can read it here).
Before we jump into our first assignment, let's talk a little bit about introverts and "highly sensitive people." There seems to be some widespread misconceptions of what it means to be an introvert. People often define it as being shy or having social anxiety or worse, being self-absorbed. These descriptions simply aren't true. Extroverts can also be shy, have social anxiety, and can definitely be self-absorbed! Simply stated, introverts are internally stimulated, and they internalize external stimuli. Virtually everything is stimulating to an introvert! To bring it home, here are a few questions to which introverts/highly sensitive people would answer yes:
* Do crowds exhaust you?
* Do you tend to think before acting?
* Is your body sensitive to alcohol and caffeine?
* Does noise set you on edge?
* Do you have a strong imagination?
* Do you prefer an evening of intimate conversation over an evening of mingling at a party?
Now that you have a better idea of what goes on inside an introvert/HSP (though that's just brushing the surface), let's move on to the question of the week.
This first exercise focuses on the lies we hear throughout our childhood and into our adult lives. We internalize these lies as truth and when we fail day after day after day to live up to them, we pay a hefty price in terms of self-esteem, outlook, peace, joy, satisfaction, and happiness. This week's assignment is to make a list of the beliefs that have shaped how you approach life that are simply not true.
Here's my personal lie-list:
* Be perfect, so people will like you.
* Be social & outgoing. People will like you. You'll be "in."
* You need to be liked to be happy.
* You need to be "in" to be liked.
* Don't be quiet. No one likes a quiet person. They pity them and think they're weird.
* Weird people don't have friends.
* Whatever you do, don't be different!
* Get along with everyone, so everyone will like you. Being liked is what it's all about.
* The ultimate goal is to make people happy. Whatever it takes.
We all learned Newton's law that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, right? The same is true of lies. So now, make a truth-list. The only place to find absolute truth - not something made up to make myself feel good - is God. He's the One who created us, so He probably has a few things to say. Check out these verses from Psalm 139:
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My truth-list:
* God formed me to be an introvert, and I am wonderfully made!
* He is familiar with all my ways.
* Only God is perfect, and only God can make me perfect.
* And the big one for me - At the end of the day, what God thinks about me is all that matters. (Seriously, why am I so hung up on being like by everyone?)
As you go through this week, pay attention to your reactions to various situations, how the lies you believe shape your reactions, and how the truth can change them into something positive. It doesn't really matter whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, we've all believed lies about life in general and about ourselves in particular. Perhaps it's time to confront a few.
Before we jump into our first assignment, let's talk a little bit about introverts and "highly sensitive people." There seems to be some widespread misconceptions of what it means to be an introvert. People often define it as being shy or having social anxiety or worse, being self-absorbed. These descriptions simply aren't true. Extroverts can also be shy, have social anxiety, and can definitely be self-absorbed! Simply stated, introverts are internally stimulated, and they internalize external stimuli. Virtually everything is stimulating to an introvert! To bring it home, here are a few questions to which introverts/highly sensitive people would answer yes:
* Do crowds exhaust you?
* Do you tend to think before acting?
* Is your body sensitive to alcohol and caffeine?
* Does noise set you on edge?
* Do you have a strong imagination?
* Do you prefer an evening of intimate conversation over an evening of mingling at a party?
Now that you have a better idea of what goes on inside an introvert/HSP (though that's just brushing the surface), let's move on to the question of the week.
This first exercise focuses on the lies we hear throughout our childhood and into our adult lives. We internalize these lies as truth and when we fail day after day after day to live up to them, we pay a hefty price in terms of self-esteem, outlook, peace, joy, satisfaction, and happiness. This week's assignment is to make a list of the beliefs that have shaped how you approach life that are simply not true.
Here's my personal lie-list:
* Be perfect, so people will like you.
* Be social & outgoing. People will like you. You'll be "in."
* You need to be liked to be happy.
* You need to be "in" to be liked.
* Don't be quiet. No one likes a quiet person. They pity them and think they're weird.
* Weird people don't have friends.
* Whatever you do, don't be different!
* Get along with everyone, so everyone will like you. Being liked is what it's all about.
* The ultimate goal is to make people happy. Whatever it takes.
We all learned Newton's law that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, right? The same is true of lies. So now, make a truth-list. The only place to find absolute truth - not something made up to make myself feel good - is God. He's the One who created us, so He probably has a few things to say. Check out these verses from Psalm 139:
1 You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.....
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.....
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My truth-list:
* God formed me to be an introvert, and I am wonderfully made!
* He is familiar with all my ways.
* Only God is perfect, and only God can make me perfect.
* And the big one for me - At the end of the day, what God thinks about me is all that matters. (Seriously, why am I so hung up on being like by everyone?)
As you go through this week, pay attention to your reactions to various situations, how the lies you believe shape your reactions, and how the truth can change them into something positive. It doesn't really matter whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, we've all believed lies about life in general and about ourselves in particular. Perhaps it's time to confront a few.
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