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The Epidemic

There's an epidemic in this country. It may be world-wide, but I don't know that for a fact. No, I don't mean the H1N1 virus. This epidemic is an epidemic of the heart, and it's found among females, typically those in their teen/young adult years.

Unfortunately, there's nothing that the pediatrician or family practice doc or even a cardiologist can do about it and neither will your insurance cover the treatment. As a teen, I suffered from it, so it's easy for me to recognize. What is it? It's a desperate desire to be loved by someone of the opposite sex. Key word: desperate.

A girl affected by this virus becomes susceptible by the belief that she's worthless. Although typically, that's not a blatant thought. It comes in other more palatable guises. Most prevalent is the lie that love = sex, which at first glance seems to have nothing to do with self-worth issues. However, if you live with that lie long enough, the truth of its root surfaces - a girl's worth is in her ability/willingness to have sex. In her mind, the association between sex and love comes down to: if a guy wants to her body, he loves her. Therefore, she gives herself to him to prove her love for him and to keep him. In doing this, she unwittingly reinforces her subconscious (or perhaps conscious) belief in her own worthlessness.

Disclaimer - I don't mean to imply that all teenage boys/young adult men are after sex and all teenage girls/young adult girls are purity itself. There are plenty of girls out there who love the power they wield with their bodies, but since my experience and my up-close and personal conversations are all from the perspective of the girl living the lie, I have to write from that perspective. It's what I know.

I won't go into details, but my first brush with this epidemic came in the 7th grade when my boyfriend broke up with me because I got braces. Oh the depth of love lost between us (I roll my eyes)! My second exposure caused this virus to become lodged in my being and it seeped into the far reaches of my soul. It became part of me. When I was finally cured, the effects of it stayed with me for a full thirty years.

My resistance to this virus was stronger than many because I had a stable home with parents and siblings who loved me unconditionally. Unfortunately, at this time in my life, my dad had just died. My siblings were all out of the house and my mother was, understandably, grieving. Even though I had a great foundation, my building wasn't finished and the strength of a child in her teen years is less dependent on her foundation than it is on the elements surrounding her.

I have so much to say on this topic, and I know I can't do it justice in these few paragraphs. I want to take each and every teenage/young adult female by the shoulders. I want to look straight in their eyes and tell them they're worth waiting for. I want to tell them they're a princess and they don't have to settle. They don't have to give the one thing that is fully theirs. There is Someone who loves them unconditionally. Unconditionally - regardless of what they give or don't give; regardless of how they look or what they do. There is Someone who is so crazy about them that He'd do anything for them - even die in their place . . . and His love is the only love that matters.

It's hard. I know it's hard. My heart breaks even now for my unborn granddaughter who has yet to live through those years surrounded by this epidemic for which there is no vaccination. The best and only thing we can do to offer any protection at all is to show them, to live out before them the unconditional love of God. They have to know that love. It may not be enough to keep them from getting the virus, but it will be enough to bring them back.

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