If you've lived long enough (let's say a day or two), you've learned that the people around you - your family, friends, co-workers - don't always (or even often) fulfill your expectations of them. Your idea of what love looks like is different from theirs. This reality hit me hard this past weekend. The hurt and disappointment I felt in my heart was so powerful that it affected me physically.
It was in this state of emotional and physical tumult when I went to church on Sunday morning where we sang a song that changed everything. The line that packed the punch?
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.
Regret: We generally think of a regret as something we wish we had done or had not done, but regrets are all inclusive. We can regret actions someone else has taken or perhaps, as it was in this instance, actions someone hasn't taken. Regret doesn't assume responsibility in any way. It merely bemoans the fact of an event or action ("I really wish so-and-so hadn't done that").
Maintain: To maintain something, one has to pour energy and resources into it: a house or building of any sort, a car, a garden, employment, relationships, etc.
Thus, to say "I don't have time to maintain these regrets," is to say that I have something of much greater value to which I can give my attention, into which I can pour my energy and resources. According to the song, that other thing is "the way He loves us."
Realizing that I could focus on something of much greater value than my hurt and disappointment changed me, but that was only half of it.
The following morning I started a new chapter in the Henri Nouwen book that I'm reading. The title of that chapter? Forgiveness. Here are just a couple potent quotes on the subject:
"Forgiveness means that I continually am willing to forgive the other person for not being God - for not fulfilling all my needs. I, too, must ask forgiveness for not being able to fulfill other people's needs."
"Forgiveness is the great spiritual weapon against the Evil One. As long as we remain victims of anger and resentment, the power of darkness can continue to divide us and tempt us . . . but when we forgive, . . . they lose their power over us."
People in our lives will always disappoint us. After all, they're not God. They're not meant to take His place in our life. By the same token, we're not God either. We're not meant to be God in anyone's life. Some how we have to learn how to be His hands and feet without assuming the responsibility of being God Himself. Some how we have to learn to receive from others without expecting them to give us what can only come from God Himself.
So when you find yourself in the place of regret - the place of pain, heartache, disappointment, and failed expectations, see the situation for what it is: A reminder that there's only one God, and He's calling out your name. He's asking you to forgive that person(s) for not being Him. He's asking you to stop pouring any more of your energy into maintaining your regret and, instead, turn your face towards Him and think about the way He loves you. Oh how He loves you!
Click this YouTube link to listen to the song. "Jesus Culture, Oh How He Loves Us."
It was in this state of emotional and physical tumult when I went to church on Sunday morning where we sang a song that changed everything. The line that packed the punch?
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.
Regret: We generally think of a regret as something we wish we had done or had not done, but regrets are all inclusive. We can regret actions someone else has taken or perhaps, as it was in this instance, actions someone hasn't taken. Regret doesn't assume responsibility in any way. It merely bemoans the fact of an event or action ("I really wish so-and-so hadn't done that").
Maintain: To maintain something, one has to pour energy and resources into it: a house or building of any sort, a car, a garden, employment, relationships, etc.
Thus, to say "I don't have time to maintain these regrets," is to say that I have something of much greater value to which I can give my attention, into which I can pour my energy and resources. According to the song, that other thing is "the way He loves us."
Realizing that I could focus on something of much greater value than my hurt and disappointment changed me, but that was only half of it.
The following morning I started a new chapter in the Henri Nouwen book that I'm reading. The title of that chapter? Forgiveness. Here are just a couple potent quotes on the subject:
"Forgiveness means that I continually am willing to forgive the other person for not being God - for not fulfilling all my needs. I, too, must ask forgiveness for not being able to fulfill other people's needs."
"Forgiveness is the great spiritual weapon against the Evil One. As long as we remain victims of anger and resentment, the power of darkness can continue to divide us and tempt us . . . but when we forgive, . . . they lose their power over us."
People in our lives will always disappoint us. After all, they're not God. They're not meant to take His place in our life. By the same token, we're not God either. We're not meant to be God in anyone's life. Some how we have to learn how to be His hands and feet without assuming the responsibility of being God Himself. Some how we have to learn to receive from others without expecting them to give us what can only come from God Himself.
So when you find yourself in the place of regret - the place of pain, heartache, disappointment, and failed expectations, see the situation for what it is: A reminder that there's only one God, and He's calling out your name. He's asking you to forgive that person(s) for not being Him. He's asking you to stop pouring any more of your energy into maintaining your regret and, instead, turn your face towards Him and think about the way He loves you. Oh how He loves you!
Click this YouTube link to listen to the song. "Jesus Culture, Oh How He Loves Us."
I love reading your blog Aunt Lori! You are an amazing writer and in my walk with Christ, your posts are an absolute inspiration. That song is one that has always stuck with me, but I never took the time to think about what the words truly meant. To see it as you have, makes it so real in my heart. He loves us and those regrets, big and small, shade us from His love.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing your thoughts, your wisdom, and your heart. I love you!