Our car isn't working properly. Some times it starts just fine, but more often than not, it takes a number of attempts before the engine turns over. We have to get it in the shop for a little maintenance, so it will once again run smoothly - exactly the way its makers intended it to run.
Our summer, as usual, has been very busy. Our typical Monday night dates have taken a back seat to the demands of life. The other day, I looked at my husband and introduced myself. It had been that long since we'd had any time alone together (you can imagine my relief when I found out that the man standing in my kitchen was, indeed, my husband. Whew!).
Yesterday morning, Marc (said husband), said to me, "the car needs maintenance, so we have to put it in the shop. It's an inconvenience, but we have to do it." He then likened marriage maintenance to car maintenance - just as there's never a good time to be one car down, there's never a good time to drop everything and spend time together. In order to do so, we have to ignore all the screams and clutching hands that surround us.
Marc plays softball on Tuesday nights. He loves it. I love that he loves it. It's just good to have fun in life some times, you know? Instead of playing softball last night though, we went on a much-needed date. Movie and dinner. It was fabulously refreshing for our relationship. We reconnected after weeks of busy-ness broken only by a hug and a kiss here and there to remind each of us that we are something special to each other - possibly even husband and wife.
One thing that has surprised me over the years is the amount of attention marriages need. Just like cars, marriages can grow sluggish without proper care. If you want to keep your car for any length of time, you take it in for regular oil changes, periodically change the spark plugs, check the belts, flush the transmission fluid, replace filters, etc. So why would we think that our marriages could coast along without similar maintenance - as if saying "I do" is all it takes to make a marriage run smoothly for the next fifty years?
It's true that your car can get you where you're going without Sherlockian attention to detail, but how smooth will the ride be? What are the chances of it breaking down along the way or the ride being pleasant and enjoyable? Just so, a marriage can last a life time without such diligence, but what kind of marriage will it be - two people fulfilling a contract or a husband and a wife living together in love, living together as one, living their marriage as it was intended to be lived by the One who created marriage in the first place?
We didn't have to drop everything last night. I was tired. Marc is on a time-crunch for a project he's working on at home. He didn't have time to make a dozen phone calls in his attempt to find a sub to play in his place. Our marriage would survive, but the thing is, we don't want a marriage that simply survives. We want our marriage to be the most important relationship in our life, not because we made a commitment to that extent on March 6, 1982, but because he's my best friend and I'm his, and that's the way we want it to stay until death do us part. To that end, we will do whatever it takes. To that end, "whatever it takes" is more than worth it.
Our summer, as usual, has been very busy. Our typical Monday night dates have taken a back seat to the demands of life. The other day, I looked at my husband and introduced myself. It had been that long since we'd had any time alone together (you can imagine my relief when I found out that the man standing in my kitchen was, indeed, my husband. Whew!).
Yesterday morning, Marc (said husband), said to me, "the car needs maintenance, so we have to put it in the shop. It's an inconvenience, but we have to do it." He then likened marriage maintenance to car maintenance - just as there's never a good time to be one car down, there's never a good time to drop everything and spend time together. In order to do so, we have to ignore all the screams and clutching hands that surround us.
Marc plays softball on Tuesday nights. He loves it. I love that he loves it. It's just good to have fun in life some times, you know? Instead of playing softball last night though, we went on a much-needed date. Movie and dinner. It was fabulously refreshing for our relationship. We reconnected after weeks of busy-ness broken only by a hug and a kiss here and there to remind each of us that we are something special to each other - possibly even husband and wife.
One thing that has surprised me over the years is the amount of attention marriages need. Just like cars, marriages can grow sluggish without proper care. If you want to keep your car for any length of time, you take it in for regular oil changes, periodically change the spark plugs, check the belts, flush the transmission fluid, replace filters, etc. So why would we think that our marriages could coast along without similar maintenance - as if saying "I do" is all it takes to make a marriage run smoothly for the next fifty years?
It's true that your car can get you where you're going without Sherlockian attention to detail, but how smooth will the ride be? What are the chances of it breaking down along the way or the ride being pleasant and enjoyable? Just so, a marriage can last a life time without such diligence, but what kind of marriage will it be - two people fulfilling a contract or a husband and a wife living together in love, living together as one, living their marriage as it was intended to be lived by the One who created marriage in the first place?
We didn't have to drop everything last night. I was tired. Marc is on a time-crunch for a project he's working on at home. He didn't have time to make a dozen phone calls in his attempt to find a sub to play in his place. Our marriage would survive, but the thing is, we don't want a marriage that simply survives. We want our marriage to be the most important relationship in our life, not because we made a commitment to that extent on March 6, 1982, but because he's my best friend and I'm his, and that's the way we want it to stay until death do us part. To that end, we will do whatever it takes. To that end, "whatever it takes" is more than worth it.
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