It's no secret among my co-workers that because of additional tasks and responsibilities with absolute deadlines, January usually brings me to the brink of sanity. Once or twice I've teetered precariously. This January was different. I kept God ever before me. I kept myself consciously and proactively aware of Him (see my January 25 post for details).
Then February came, and before I knew it, I felt like I'd been knocked flat. I was down for the count in a boxing match that I hadn't even known I was in. My opponent brought his punches in hard and fast. There I sat, dazed, reeling, wondering what just happened. I tried to shake my head clear. I tried to remember what it was that had gotten me through January. Nothing came to me.My mind was blank . . .
. . . Until this past Saturday. I'm related (by marriage) to the author of the Cuppa Joe Bible Minute. Writing a blog isn't Jenni's only gift, she also teaches Bible studies and at women's retreats. Every year she comes to Missouri and does a retreat for us - the women in our family. Her topic this year was the Holy Spirit. At Saturday morning's session, we worked on a job description - not for each of us but for the Holy Spirit. We looked up a rash of scripture verses and came up with the following list:
Then February came, and before I knew it, I felt like I'd been knocked flat. I was down for the count in a boxing match that I hadn't even known I was in. My opponent brought his punches in hard and fast. There I sat, dazed, reeling, wondering what just happened. I tried to shake my head clear. I tried to remember what it was that had gotten me through January. Nothing came to me.My mind was blank . . .
. . . Until this past Saturday. I'm related (by marriage) to the author of the Cuppa Joe Bible Minute. Writing a blog isn't Jenni's only gift, she also teaches Bible studies and at women's retreats. Every year she comes to Missouri and does a retreat for us - the women in our family. Her topic this year was the Holy Spirit. At Saturday morning's session, we worked on a job description - not for each of us but for the Holy Spirit. We looked up a rash of scripture verses and came up with the following list:
Prays/intercedes
for us
Strengthens
us
Helps us
pray
Guides/leads
Gives discernment
Gives
spiritual desires
Gives gifts
We have
fruits of the spirit in our lives
Gives
instruction
Chooses
people for a purpose
Gives power
Comes in
power- like a wind/tongues of fire/earth shook
Gives
miraculous power
Holy Spirit
is a gift
Spoke and
speaks to us
Spoke and
speaks to the churches
One Holy
Spirit/many gifts
Holy Spirit
speaks truth and gives us truth to speak
Reveals
Jesus to us
Counselor
He dwells
with and in us
Convicts the
world
Tells us of
what is yet to come
Glorifies
Jesus
As I watched the list grow, I recalled a single sentence that I'd read just the day before:
I am beset by chronic soul amnesia
Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts
I stopped reeling. That sense of being dazed slipped off me. My head cleared. I opened my eyes again. In those unexpected punches of February, I'd not forgotten God, but I had forgotten who He is and what He does. I'd forgotten His power. I'd forgotten that in His infinite mercy and kindness, the Holy Spirit Himself prays for us. I'd forgotten that He gives strength to the weak. I'd forgotten that He dwells with us even when life hands us a knock-out upper cut. My brain hadn't forgotten these things but my soul had.
Knowing one is beset by some illness like, oh, let's say soul amnesia, isn't enough to cure it, but it is the first step. Perhaps if I rehearse this list, even memorize it; perhaps if I take time to consider each of these things and how I see them played out; perhaps then I won't have so many flare ups of this wretched condition; perhaps then my soul will remember what my head always knows: He is faithful.
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