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Eyes Wide Open


I recently began to read One Thousand Gifts - A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp. I picked it up, not because of the title, but because so many people had recommended it - highly. I'm not sure what I expected, but it's all that and then some. I have to admit that her writing style is difficult for me. I have to weed through her poetic prose to grasp the jewels of truth, but there are jewels sprinkled throughout every page, and it is well worth my efforts. I'm not writing a book review this morning, but I mention this book because it is the reading of it that has planted a new cry in my heart: I want to see.
 
I came home from the office frustrated yesterday. I'd spent two days working on one problem. It felt like trudging through cement. I changed clothes and immediately went to walk out my frustrations. I prayed, "Lord, I want to see. I want to see You in this." Albert Einstein's words sprang to mind, "It's not that I'm smarter than anyone else. It's just that I stick with a problem longer." Whoa. There's God. I may have spent two days on one problem, but the gift is in the fact that I can think, that I can do my job, and that I actually like my job even when I'm trudging through cement.

Generally speaking, I don't think I'm a particularly negative person. I try to remember to look for the good in people, try to find the positive in a negative situation. I don't really need to work on my gratitude attitude - or at least I didn't think I did. I've realized though that I want more - I want to be more grateful. I want to see God's gifts in my life. I want to see God every day, all around me . . . but I don't.

I don't want to have to try to see the good in everything. I want my heart changed so that seeing God everywhere, in everything, is simply part of who I am  - not just a thing I do. So, I think I'm going to keep praying, "I want to see," because I do. I want to live my life with my eyes wide open.

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