The waiting is over! Brooklyn Adeline arrived this past Thursday, and while I awaited the euphoria that my fellow-grandparents assured me would come, I found that instead of what I expected, I fell in love. Deeply, unreservedly, unconditionally, in love.
Everyone decided to lie down for a nap. I voluntarily sacrificed my nap (that's just the kind of gal I am) to stay with Brooklyn. I mean, what three day-old infant can take a nap by herself?. Someone had to hold her, so I volunteered. I'm such a martyr.
As we lounged on the sofa together, she slept. I absorbed every bit of her: the curve of her tiny little ears, the motion of her eyes beneath her eyelids as she dreamed (of what? Being back in the womb maybe? Nursing?), her perfectly shaped lips so like her great grandma's, her soft, so soft, skin with its perfect complexion. I stared at her and basked in simply loving her. I let every part of her sink and settle deep within my heart. This was my first time alone with her, and I held onto every moment of it.
I looked at my newborn granddaughter and thought, why do I love you like this? What is it about you that turns my heart to liquid? I see other babies, other newborns. I saw half a dozen of them over the previous three days in the hospital, but none of them evoked such emotion. What is it about this child? There's nothing about her - not her looks (although she is beautiful), it's not the riches she brings me, or the work she does for me, or anything at all that she does because frankly, she can't do a heck of a whole lot just yet. Nor is it in anticipation of any of those things that makes my heart swell. I will love her regardless of what the future holds - even if, for some reason, she hates me. I will love her simply because I do. She could never do anything to make me not love her. She's stuck. I can't help it.
That's when I realized: it's not because of WHO she is. It's because of WHOSE she is. You see, I love her mother and father, so I love her. I love the siblings she doesn't yet have. I love the children that my son and daughter-in-law will have although I've not yet met them because I love my son and daughter-in-law.
That's when I thought of God and His love for us. Although I've heard it before and known it and believed it, I came to a greater understanding as I held my infant granddaughter in my arms. As she slept there completely helpless, swaddled in a blanket of tiny pink flowers, unable to do anything at all for me, I realized that she and I have something more than our ancestry in common: I've never done anything to deserve the love of God nor can I. Yet He loves me. . . because I am in Christ. WHO I am doesn't make God love me or not love me. It's all about WHOSE I am. And I am His.
Everyone decided to lie down for a nap. I voluntarily sacrificed my nap (that's just the kind of gal I am) to stay with Brooklyn. I mean, what three day-old infant can take a nap by herself?. Someone had to hold her, so I volunteered.
As we lounged on the sofa together, she slept. I absorbed every bit of her: the curve of her tiny little ears, the motion of her eyes beneath her eyelids as she dreamed (of what? Being back in the womb maybe? Nursing?), her perfectly shaped lips so like her great grandma's, her soft, so soft, skin with its perfect complexion. I stared at her and basked in simply loving her. I let every part of her sink and settle deep within my heart. This was my first time alone with her, and I held onto every moment of it.
I looked at my newborn granddaughter and thought, why do I love you like this? What is it about you that turns my heart to liquid? I see other babies, other newborns. I saw half a dozen of them over the previous three days in the hospital, but none of them evoked such emotion. What is it about this child? There's nothing about her - not her looks (although she is beautiful), it's not the riches she brings me, or the work she does for me, or anything at all that she does because frankly, she can't do a heck of a whole lot just yet. Nor is it in anticipation of any of those things that makes my heart swell. I will love her regardless of what the future holds - even if, for some reason, she hates me. I will love her simply because I do. She could never do anything to make me not love her. She's stuck. I can't help it.
That's when I realized: it's not because of WHO she is. It's because of WHOSE she is. You see, I love her mother and father, so I love her. I love the siblings she doesn't yet have. I love the children that my son and daughter-in-law will have although I've not yet met them because I love my son and daughter-in-law.
That's when I thought of God and His love for us. Although I've heard it before and known it and believed it, I came to a greater understanding as I held my infant granddaughter in my arms. As she slept there completely helpless, swaddled in a blanket of tiny pink flowers, unable to do anything at all for me, I realized that she and I have something more than our ancestry in common: I've never done anything to deserve the love of God nor can I. Yet He loves me. . . because I am in Christ. WHO I am doesn't make God love me or not love me. It's all about WHOSE I am. And I am His.
Isn't that just so God? Isn't it so sweet how many, many different ways He tells us of His love? Precious.
ReplyDeleteAlthough it's an "unconditional love", the words are used and used again...but then can totally sink in at times such as these. Drink them in, sweet sister, drink them in.
As a fellow recent grandparent, you have written a great description and a new facet of God's love. His love is new every morning, and feels so incredible as we continuously discover the depths and width of His love for us.
ReplyDeleteWith my new granddaughter, Gemma, I am helpless but to love her, a fool in her presence, it's really quite amazing.